The One Essential Tip for Grooms From a Wedding Photographer

Weddings often carry a mix of nerves and excitement, especially for the groom standing moments away from seeing his partner in bridal attire. But one simple, heartfelt reminder from a professional wedding videographer has recently struck a powerful chord across social media—and it’s not about getting the perfect reaction on camera. It’s about showing up authentically.

Kalli Obray, a seasoned 26-year-old wedding videographer from Spanish Fork, Utah, shared a touching moment from a recent shoot that has since gone viral. The clip captured her advice to a groom ahead of his first look—a pre-wedding trend many couples now embrace to reduce day-of stress and cherish more personal memories.

The Pep Talk That Sparked an Online Wave

“There’s just one rule here—and it’s simply to make her feel like a million bucks,” Obray gently reminded the couple. She didn’t ask for a big emotional outburst. Instead, she urged sincerity: “She doesn’t need you to cry. She doesn’t need you to jump up with joy. She just wants you to be yourself and make her feel lovely.”

Her calm, encouraging words quickly resonated online. Many users praised the grounded message. Some joked that they would forward it to their own wedding photographers, while others admitted they teared up just hearing the clip, before even seeing the bride.

Five Years of Experience Behind a Simple Message

Instagram | kallicovideo | Filming weddings for five years, Obray noted how grooms often feel pressured by the event and cameras.

Obray, owner of Kallico Videography, has spent five years filming weddings. That experience has shown her how pressure can mount, especially on grooms. Between the whirlwind of the big day and the presence of cameras, some grooms feel the weight of needing to react “perfectly.”

“Oh, my gosh, I have these cameras pointed at me,” she told TODAY.com, describing the expectation that goes along with it. “I feel like I have to react a certain way when I’m already feeling nervous and anxious.” That pressure often steals from the moment itself.

So, she offers a reset—a reminder of the true purpose behind the first look: connection and appreciation.

Letting Go of Expectations, Embracing the Moment

Obray’s guidance isn’t about downplaying emotion—it’s about making space for authentic ones. Whether a groom bursts into happy tears or simply offers a warm smile, the important part is that it reflects who he is, not who he thinks he should be for the camera.

“It’s not a bad thing for men to cry or be overly excited,” she clarified. “It’s just about feeling like you have to do that if that’s not who you are.” She emphasized that the bride simply wants to feel admired and seen by the person she loves.

And with that perspective, most grooms seem to relax. “You can almost see the stress ease off their backs,” Obray said, describing the shift in mood when she starts each session with that reminder.

Why the First Look Matters More Than the Photos

Pexels | AŃDY | Before the ceremony, a first look allows couples to connect privately and emotionally.

The first look has become more than just a photo opportunity. It gives couples a quiet space to connect before the ceremony rush begins. For many, it grounds them in the emotion of the day and lets them focus on each other without distractions.

Although social media can often influence wedding expectations, Obray’s approach brings it back to basics. “The core reason a bride wants to do this,” she explained, “is because she loves him and wants to capture his unique reaction to how she looks.”

In a world where weddings sometimes feel more like performances, her message serves as a meaningful reminder: The best reaction is a genuine one. And that kind of authenticity? It can’t be staged.

A Message That Resonates Beyond the Wedding Industry

Obray’s advice highlights something broader—how important it is to release people from performance pressure. Whether it’s a wedding, a birthday, or a reunion, people crave realness. Her message cuts through the noise and reminds couples, especially grooms, that authenticity always shines brightest.

Now, her approach has reached thousands, and perhaps in the future, it will shape how even more couples experience their big day.

Weddings should spotlight love, not expectations. Kalli Obray gave many people a simple reminder that being authentic is more important than crying or cheering. After all, the best memories come from moments that feel real, not rehearsed.